Normally when we get our weekly Economist, it’s cover story is something like ‘Crunch time in Libya’ or ‘The growing fear of a second American recession’. Which is why I give it a cursory I-so-understand-this thumb-through to convince myself (half-heartedly) that its (overpriced) subscription wasn’t money down the drain (it so was).
So when I glanced at the cover page this time, I did a double take. ‘Asia’s Lonely Hearts’? Was this the economist? Or had we bungled our subscriptions and got the Cosmo instead? (hallejulah!)
It was the Economist alright and it explored the trend of why Asian women, traditionally brought up with orthodox family values, have started rejecting the idea of marriage. Already the average age of marriage for women in some Asian countries is the early 30’s, compared to 26 years in the US. Moreover 30% or so women in their 30’s in these countries have never been married, compared to just 13-15% in US and UK.
And in stark contrast to the west, where lower income families are more prone to breaking up/never marrying, in Asia the more educated and successful a woman is, the more likely is she to marry late/never marry. ‘Golden misses’ they call such single women in south Korea.
While the trend is still catching on in India, I would tend to agree. I know many such Golden Misses- and some are from conservative brahmin families who have withstood tremendous familial pressure to postpone marriage, sometimes indefinitely.
Why have they done so? The article speculates that its because of the orthodox mindsets of Asian men and families and their rigid expectations of a DIL, which no modern woman finds attractive. Which is true, but I have another theory. And that is called Dearth-of-choice theory. Seriously.
Now imagine that you are a single, moderately successful Indian woman living on her own in a metropolis. And even imagine (you may have to stretch your imagination for this-I certainly had to) that you are a hot, confident, bombshell-with-brains who can get any man in the country. What would your choices be? And how would you react if they ever proposed to you? In tune with the upcoming show on BIG CBS called India’s sexiest bachelors, let’s look at some prime examples:
1. Salman Khan: Pro: He’s got that ribbly muscly unbeatable physique. After all he’s been working out for the last 30 years. Con: Considering that all he’s been doing for 30 years is work out, possible lack of intellectual abilities. Pro: He’s rich! Con: Of course will have to spend most of that money getting Life insurance, Fire insurance, Personal accident insurance, for self and all members of extended family. Pro: Uhm…will get back to this later. Con: Will have to learn to talk in (UK?) (US?) (does it matter?) accented hinglish to bastiwalas and end all sentences with ‘Yo! I Love ya’awl!’ Pro: Errr….. Con: Will have to see his movies!…end of argument. Thanks but no thanks!
2. Rahul Gandhi: While most Indian men are mama’s boys, Rahul is a Gandhi boy which means he’s a mama’s boy, grand mama’s boy, great grandpa’s boy, not to forget the obviously dominating sister’s boy. Plus can’t see self running behind him in heartland Uttar Pradesh in Jimmy Choo heels. Or pretend to be sad for women who are thinner and wear even lesser clothes. What if the Congress eventually gifted me the Gandhi Gaddi? Every Gandhi has to be the PM or the PM behind the PM once in their lifetime. Will Soniaji be the future self? OMG! Cant believe that! Also can’t believe that am calling Sonia Gandhi ‘Soniaji’ already. Of course the cash will be plenty and most of it unaccountable, but still, considering the mortality rate, thanks but no thanks.
3. Yuvraaj Singh: Have you heard his mom, Shabnam Singh? Thanks, but no thanks. P.S. In case of doubt refer to arguments under ‘Salman Khan’.
4. Ranbir Kapoor: Sure, its easy to get lost in those baby browns, but think about competing with Katrina Kaif and Deepika Padukone. and Neetu Singh. And Karisma. And Kareena. And the next Miss India. Really I’d rather enrol in the next female WWF. Thank you. But no, thank you.
5. Siddharth Mallya: Isn’t he the guy whose idea of an average female is a Kingfisher Calendar girl? Plus will have to give up Heineken and Johnny Walker for Kingfisher and McDowells. And fly Kingfisher. And support Royal Challengers. Ok. Thanks, but no thanks
6. Karan Johar: Seriously? Well to be fair there can be benefits of a platonic marriage like that. Imagine marrying your richest best friend. You can chat all the time, go shopping together, fight over fashion advice, bitch behind his back, compete for the same guy….OMG! Imagine marrying your best friend. Thanks but no thanks.
Now you understand the plight of the Golden misses? With choices such as these, celibacy is far more attractive.
Married men out there, take a bow. The best are, truly taken.
To read a man’s take on this, visit Shrijeet’s blog here. I promise you, it’s hilarious.
OK…I take a bow…:)
great post…
and a well deserved one!
haha!..seriously I agree…there is a dearth of choices
yes Ronnie. Not that we did the best with what we had!;-)
Nice humorous post on a very serious issue. In my own Tambrahm family the number of Golden Misses are increasing. May be they are following the example of the Golden Mister – that;s me 🙂
And thx for the promo and remark on the Lokpal Bill comparison post.
arre-ur post for a hange made me think. and why r u a golden mister-do u want some golden misses’ numbers?
<a href=lol!!! well the marriage market is truly becomming one helluva fiasco for people all around innit? 😉
reminds me of one of my fav quotes—
“Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”
Love in the times of ‘samsung galaxy tab’
cheers!!! 🙂
i loved ur post- its so difficult to be creative ithe a thing like a galaxy tab. now i wish i’d tried;-<
No doubts, that the best are taken.
Golden Misses is actually an apt word! Describes the plight of so many like me, perfectly!
And there are no ‘eligible’ bachelors. It is just a myth. No truth at all.
P.S.
I just rejected another one of those so called ‘eligible grooms’ – Poor English can be such a big turn off!
hang in there….it aint so bad to be a golden miss! ask all the married women.
are you married ? for sure yes……the grapes are sour hehe……well there are many other eligible bachelors on the road trust me ……and yea many eligible handsome rich bachelors are now taken that’s a sad part
good post dude keep it coming……
yes, of course. although there are many times i wish i was a golden miss,grass is greener and all that….
🙂 you sure put it all in the right pespective!
😀 yeah totally taken 😀
guessing ur married!
The good ones are either married or gay and the rest feature in your list :))
😆
Isn’t that a bleak future for all the men out there..haha..papa keh rahe the..ki beta shaadi kar lo….shaadi kar lo….par main to nahi…nahi..papa itni jaldi kya hai…abhi to bahut time hai LOL!!
I love the Salman’s out there…’see his movies…’ bit..seriously…I have stopped watching his movies completely..
On a positive note…there may be diamonds hiding between tonnes of coals…. 😀
by the time we get to those diamonds-we’ll be coal. all i can say is that thank god i got married nearly a decade back!
this was a laugh riot! i love sallu (for his ..uhum..uhum..body) but cudnt help nodding in agreeement
thanks sujatha. and i love sallu too
So true! All the good guys are taken..
PS: I don’t like the very sight of Siddharth Mallya
i know- he looks like such a spoint brat cum casanova who has a harem hidden somwhere that he does unspeakable things to. doesnt ne?
great post. I loved the karan johar thing.
Now this definitely needs a Man’s Perspective of Thanks but No Thanks…
Hmm.. I smell some ideas brewing in my head…
Ohh nooo wait.. thats just my dinner burning while after reading this post I was *as the youngsters say*.. ROTFLOL-WCMFITP
(Rolling on the floor laughing out loud while cleaning my floor in the process)
Cheers… 🙂
ur article made me look at my husband with newfound respect :):) but I do beg to differ here…..just when u think all good men are taken…another one of those endangered species will walk past…u got to be quick and sure to grab them before they vanish :):)
The little Idea finally gained momentum and ended up in this:
“Thanks, But no Thanks – Man’s View”
http://www.shrijeetroychoudhary.com/2011/08/thanks-but-no-thanks-mans-view.html
🙂
loved your take-off shrijeet. may have even beaten mine
sometimes i too believe the same but then one nice, hot, intelligent hunk passes by and I m like..naaahhh..God isnt that cruel 😛
so i suggest u to keep ur fingers crossed!!!
All the good ones are taken. True.
take heart-they may get dumped yet…
Hi sandy,
Happened to come across your blog through the bloggers world FB group…LOVED your blog, you write quite well……get used to me…I might come around often…LOL…
About this post, I’d say one thing, yes the good ones are taken, mainly because they are married off early in an arranged marriage by their families, but I think one of the important reasons why asian women are remaining single well into their 20’s and some even in their 30’s is because women are now more assertive in their requirements in a partner, they will no longer just nod their heads to any guy their family approves of, they want some defined set of qualities in their partner, and till they find someone who fits the bill the best, they aren’t going to say yes, just because they are at the age they should marry…I’m seeing this more and more around me, where most of my friends are still single, being into their early 30’s.
so true Anjali…and sometimes i wish I had had the courage these golden misses have. You can be happy eitherways. Kudos to them!
Hey I just remembered I was here the other day through indibloggers too….and loved your blog then too…haha…I guess your blog is that good…anyway…will come around again…
So glad you liked it-i remember seeing you here before and was wondering why u introduced yourself this time.
Hahaha… so damn true… but I think it works both ways, I suppose 🙂
N pls, u cant forget the ‘just-returned-from-US-IT-dude-with-an-accent-wierder-than-mine’ frm the list.. u see him everywhere 🙂
Yummy post, Yuppy 🙂
good read there…
Marriage is a great institution.Why not think about it seriously rather than routinely? We should come out of the convention of making marriage an inevitable social institution. Let it not be a routine option!
Haha, hilarious. 😀
I detest Salman Khan, dude.
He has zero respect for anything, let alone marriage.
Please read my latest blog post, too. It’s a tech blog…please promote it on Indivine, if you like it!:)
You can access it here: The Tablet Revolutionary
😆 Golden misses – so true!
thanks nandhini!
A very serious point put very lightly.
I am proud of the Asian/the Indian girls who are not willing to be settled with the less. Are the mothers hearing this, the ones who are keen on the horoscope and the dowry matching for their sons.
so am i prasanna
Male ratio is higher than females still there is a dearth of suitable bachelors…tch…tch…
Enjoyed reading your post.
thanks- yes whats up with that?
Loved the part “Married men out there, take a bow. The best are, truly taken.” and about Sallu,”Will have to watch his movies!” I can’t forget scenes from Dabaaaaang!!!
thanks jobin. i never watched dabangg
Nice article… Interesting and quite informative… Thanks for sharing…
thanks spark
Really good take. Especially loved the ‘thanks, but no thanks’ after each ‘eligible’ bachelor
http://www.indiblogger.in/indipost.php?post=74428
Hilarious!! So true, the good ones are already taken!! I can totally relate to it!!
@swapnil – thanks
@ kumar- loved the word panache. didnt even know i had it
@upasana- never fear there are new ones entering the market every day
hey
gr8 post
you sure hammered the rights ones-well
lolz
Why you no support Royal Challengers? err.. wait. Which is the team that plays in purple, again? :p
Excellent read! Very well written….
@sush and @ satish- thanks
@shreyas- because im from mumbai. and as for purple- kolkata? rajasthan?
Haha! Lovely 🙂
haha..
funny one..
cheerio!
@anubhav and @manreet- thanks!
Beautiful post.
I too came across the mag yesterday and wondered what was the take on it.
Hahaha … Hilarious….! “Golden Misses” ..
Even my parents got married in their 30’s…
I guess they had some good options in their time ….
… In this Gen … The good ones are already taken! darn right … 😛
With such options … Oh boy! Thanks but no thanks! 😀
This one is so to the point. N trust me your reason is the main reason. It is really difficult to find urself a good guy beyond a point of time.
one of the good posts i have come across… welll written and humor filled…. too young and very inexperienced to comment further i feel… will bookmark this page… com bac wen i hav d knowledge to comment .. lol 🙂
thanks saheer and kirklops-
Kirklops- which is why idealist systems are theorotical
Saheer- u are atleast masture enough to know that
Very true about Golden Misses. Nice post.
Hilarious post, with serious points to ponder 🙂
I feel honoured to nominate you for the versatile blogger award. thanx!
http://versa-ambiguity.blogspot.com/2011/12/versatile-blogger-award.html#!/2011/12/versatile-blogger-award.html
thank you so much and sorry for the late response! I was Awol for weeks